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- Instructions to authors: Don’t write for a specific journal, but write a generic article. That way it is much easier to resubmit elsewhere if your paper is rejected. And don’t follow the boring rules of narrow-minded editors (regarding e.g. word count or structure).
- Title and abstract: Choose a sensational title and a speculative abstract. Thus, more people will want to read your paper.
- Introduction: Write the introduction before and independently of methods and results. At this point it is not important to know where the paper is heading. Cite outdated literature, or use random references to support your claims (nobody will ever check). Feel free to copy-paste large parts of the introduction into your next article on the same topic.
- Methods: You can save a lot of words by simply writing that the methods have been described elsewhere (and provide a reference that will lead to another reference and so on).
- Results: Plenty of mistakes can be made when conducting and reporting statistical analyses. Don’t bother to consult a statistician, especially not when planning the experiments or clinical study.
- Discussion: Always end with “Further research on this topic is needed.” People love reading that.
- Submission: Once you have submitted your article, do ask the editor every two weeks about the status of your paper and why the review process is taking so long. This will speed up the process.
Follow my tips step by step– and a rejection of your paper is guaranteed!
Need more tips? For further reading or watching (I mean, seriously, who reads texts nowadays, when everything is on YouTube?), I recommend:
Carr P [Internet]. How to write a paper in a weekend [cited 2021 Feb 13]. Available from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY7sVKJPTMA
Makin TR, Orban de Xivry JJ. Ten common statistical mistakes to watch out for when writing or reviewing a manuscript. Elife. 2019;8:e48175. doi: 10.7554/eLife.48175.
Murray R. Skillful writing of an awful research paper. Anal Chem. 2011;83(3):633. doi: 10.1021/ac2000169.
PLOS [Internet]. Writing Center [cited 2021 Feb 13]. Available from: https://plos.org/resources/writing-center/
